jenx's blog

What item(s) do you have to prevent yourself from buying at the grocery store? 
Submitted by Places Unknown.

 

Bread, in all shapes and sizes, especially baguette :-(

Where do you go to get away from it all? 
Submitted by Hops.  

My first thought was, "into a great book", but in the past few weeks I've been doing this crazy new thing called excercise, and wow, talk about quality alone time, I'M LOVING IT.

Tell us about a lesson you had to learn the hard way.

I learned the hardway that it's a bad idea to flash your bits to road crews who are working on the freeway at 2 a.m., traffic came to a standstill about 30 seconds later and there was nowhere to hide!

If you could pick a cartoon world to live in, which would it be?  Why?
Submitted by Scio, Scio.

The Smurfs!

I always wanted to be Smurfette, the only girl surrounded by all of those men, little blue men, mmmmm.

Note to colleague, don't stop to chat, while holding the sports section, in front of the men's room.

When you push the door open, and it dawns on me you're about to take a crap, I get a visual, and it's icky, and the next time I bump into you, it's awkward.

Seriously, can't you poop between 9 and 5 without reading something?

I think we look like 4 brunette spies. Drunk spies, but spies nonetheless!

The brunettes

You shouldn't write about annoying cow-orkers..But I just have to!!

  The person sitting in the cubicle beside me, has got to be the most irritating person on the planet, oh the rant I could go on right now......

Instead, I'm going to vent only about 3 things that drive me absolutely nuts, each day, for the next 5, and then try and tell me you wouldn't want to snap.

Look it's only 12:41 p.m. and I already have my 3!

1) Sneaked up behind me while I was working and listening to headphones, and tapped my left shoulder while standing at my right.

2) Came in to my cubicle with air freshener and was about to spray some until I yelled NOOOOOOOO, then proceeded to spray 3 long blasts in his own cubicle, (and no, I don't think he was trying to tell me I smell or dropping some sort of hint, he just wanted to make the office smell like mountain rain)

3) He's been eating chips out of the bag since 10:11 a.m., the big mega bag of chips he'll be smacking until he goes home . crinkle...crinkle, crunch.....crunch

ugh.

I want everyone to love reading as much as I do, and am genuinely curious about what peoples taste in books are. So yes, I often ask the question "what are you reading?", and this funny scene recently played out at work.

I'm sitting in my office chatting with the computer guy who came to install my DVD burner.  Somehow the topic of books came up and he told me he has read all of Dan Browns novels.  So I ask what else he has read, as he must be tired of Dan Brown and his predictable as shit formula by now.....but no, this is the only reading reading for pleasure he's done.

Then he asks what I'm reading, to which I reply "Vanity Fair", he gives me the look of "duh" and says "that's not a book, it's a magazine!"

There are really no words in a situation like this, I just pulled out the William Makepeace Thackeray classic and drop it on my desk without saying a thing.

Now we just chat about music.....

Hmmm, the way I wrote this does sound a litle on the smug side...ahh well.

Vanity fair

I did the happy hour thing last night after work, it was really great. Due to the fact that I live beyond public transportation lines, and rely on a ride, I can only do this once in a blue moon.  I enjoyed seeing folks from work, out of their usual element, slightly tipsy, and it was something to look forward to on an otherwise slow Friday.

Would have been better if the bar we chose actually had a happy hour special, but it seems like that might have gone out of fashion, as I can't think of even one bar that promotes happy hour.

Rickardsred

Is there such a thing?  I'm 31 years old, and I'm not the person I was 10 years ago, or 5 years ago for that matter.  This has been on my mind a lot in the past month.

An old friend is getting married, so I'm being invited to the bachelorette night, the shower, the wedding, all for someone I haven't spoke to more than twice a year in the past five, and the girls inviting me never liked me and are only including me for the bride's sake.

She was the girl I first ventured out into the bar scene with when I was 18, the girl I drank my first pitcher of Killer Koolaid with, (horrible, that stuff is) the girl who warned me against going off on my first one night stand, (I went anyway, she came too, he had a friend, was fun) the first girl I slept with (holy bush!) , the girl who got dumped frequently, leaving me to be her constant cheerleader, just a really fun friend.

 However, she was also part of a larger clique of five girls who had been friends since kindergarten, these are the ones emailing me the invites now, . There was no room for me in that group, which hurt, because I felt like an affair she was having on the side.  It would go something like this "Jen, I'm going to this 3 day cottage party with the girls, but as soon as I get back we're going to go out, get drunk and pick up." 

Whenever we did go out with the other girls, they would do rounds of shots at the bar, while I was in the bathroom, or if I was giving my number out to a guy at the end of the night, they would just start leaving, not allowing for a quick drunken makeout session by the coat check. They deemed me a slut (they had that 3 date rule in full effect, no exceptions), corrupting their friend, where I always thought of myself as young and single so who cares if I make out with someone at the end f the night, I always loved a sloppy drunk kiss/grope on the dancefloor.

My friend and I drifted apart after a few really fun years, I got married at 23 and had a baby, she stayed close with her clique, they all became teachers. When we got together over the years, it was almost like I had to be the old me, because she could not accept that I had changed, bought a house, went to playgroups etc.. So for "fun" I would help her meet guys, I'd chat with the friend while she made her move, wondering when in this conversation I should mention the fact that I'm married. 

I have been asked outright by these other girls, on occasions where they came along, if I've ever had an affair. How dare they fucking ask that?

The new me has friends who love me for being creative, who accept that I have faults, and let me be me without compromise.   I feel grown up.

I have not seen most of those high school girls since 2002, and the girl getting married, the one who I shared those action packed few years with, I haven't seen her since last spring.

Now I'm supposed to attend all of these events, obviously not in on any one of their private jokes, not knowing her fiance as they do, having to answer the most inane questions about what's new.  What is fucking not new in 4 years plus, JESUS. 

But for my old friend should I go?  Should I be the old me, smiling and letting them put me on the spot with their personal questions about my fidelity, and actually answering.  Or should I just give them a nonplussed laugh, when they ask if I feel like I missed out on life settling down so young, if I have regrets.  That has alaways come up too, as if I would tell you stuck up bitches the truth anyway.

OF COURSE I HAVE MOMENTS OF DOUBT, WOULDA, SHOULDA, COULDA, WHATEVER.

Bottom line is, I don't miss having my old friend in my day to day life at all, and if I don't got to any of these events including the wedding, what would change between us.  I still have the good memories.

Do a lot of people avoid their past this way? Is it just me?

I don't even know if this is a clear picture of my situation.  I just don't want to see any of these people now, at all.

Maybe I also should have pointed out I was the new girl in school. 

the end.